Anyone who knows me at all, knows how much I love to sing. It's one of my favorite things to do. I sing in my car (my favorite venue!), my shower, in the kitchen and on any stage that will have me. One of my next favorite things is watching my kids sing. My oldest can sing but she won't let anyone hear her do it seriously. My younger two both sing in school and church groups.
Tonight, I went to hear Clark's high school concert which consists of 5 different choral groups. It's always a fantastic night and even though it is a public school, the director always manages to sneak in some spiritual songs or songs with a Christian theme. These concerts have become a highlight of the year, not just because I love to watch and hear my son on stage, but because the quality of the performance is unbelievably good for high school students.
However, tonight's performance moved me in a way that I've never been moved before. As one choir came onto the stage and lined up on the risers, the first girl on stage was one I was familiar with because she lives in my neighborhood. She walks with the aid of a 'walker' because she has cerebral palsy, and although she is beautiful and bright, her legs don't cooperate and she cannot walk on her own. I so admire her determination to make it across the stage to sing with the rest of her peers.
The rest of the choir came in behind her and after everyone was in place, an aide pushed in a wheelchair with a young man sitting in it who was severely disabled, physically and mentally. It was the type of disability that makes you want to look away and not stare in pity. He was dressed in his tux like all of the other boys, but that seemed to be one of the only things he had in common with the rest of them.
As the director began to lead the choir in a beautiful song, the young man began to sing along. His words were sporadic and out of rhythm. His voice could be heard during rests and he was completely off key. But as I watched him, I had to choke back the tears. The sounds coming from him, were coming completely from his heart. You could tell by the jerky movements of his hands and head that he felt the rhythm and heard the rhyme, but his brain would not allow him to sing in time with everyone else. My tears were not from pity, but from admiration.
Even though those young people have limitations in their bodies, nothing could hold back their spirit as they sang. They sang with the voices God gave them and found the joy of joining their voices with others to create the kind of music you cannot do on your own.
What would it look like to live life out of passion...doing what you love...regardless of how you think you look to other people. Would I dance as if no one were watching? (I am a horrible dancer!) Would I paint a picture for Him when I feel inspired? (I can't even draw a stick figure!) Would I dare to fall on my knees in a worship service when I feel the urge? (that urge happens a lot actually!) In many ways I too am disabled. My need to gain man's approval keeps me from doing things that I don't think I will be successful at or things that will cause me to stand out and look strange.
I'm reminded of Mary when she broke open her expensive bottle of perfume and washed Jesus' feet with it and dried it with her hair. She didn't care as others looked on and criticized her and judged her. She just lived out of her passion for Jesus. David said "I will not sacrifice to God what cost me nothing". So much of what I offer to Him really doesn't cost me anything. I long to have the kind of spirit and passion I saw in those two teenagers tonight. To offer up what I have, to give back what He has given to me.
I'm sure there were two families in the audience tonight who were delighting in watching their special needs children participate in such a wonderful program. And just as they loved hearing their child's voice join with many others in song, I have a Heavenly Father who takes great delight in the sacrifice of praise that I bring to him.
