The things we leave behind

Last weekend we moved our oldest child into her college dorm for the first time. I think I've handled it well considering I've been tearing up every time I think about it for an entire year. My mistake was coming home and looking into the empty closet that used to be filled with her signature wardrobe. As I looked around her room, I was struck by the things she had chosen to leave behind. It caused me to contemplate the things we all leave behind in life when we cross from one chapter to the next.
Some of the things left behind were objects from her childhood such as her collection of princess tiaras, her favorite barbies standing on the shelf and a few stuffed animals. Those were of no surprise. They were things that she simply had outgrown.
Then there were the things that I was surprised she had left behind like some of her clothes and shoes, her senior yearbook, her 'In Style' magazines that she poured over again and again. These were things that she decided would just clutter up her life and she just didn't have room for them.
As we talked this week, she came up with the list of things that she accidentally left behind...a pair of running shoes, a prescription, her art supplies and most importantly her favorite 'sketch, poetry and quote book'. These were things that were precious to her but in the flurry of activity and rushing to get packed, they were forgotten.
This week I've taken stock of my life in many ways. I am looking at the things I need to leave behind because at this stage of my life - I've outgrown them. There are habits and sin patterns that were part of who I used to be, but need to be left behind because its time to be mature. There are also things that I need to leave behind because they are weighing me down and are keeping me from doing all that God has for me to do. Hebrews 12:1 says, "let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us".
But I think more importantly, I am looking at the things that I have left behind because I've gotten too busy. There are precious things in my life that have been pushed aside, postponed or just plain forgotten. I leave behind my prayer life, my private worship time, relationships with people I love, all because I get in a hurry and simply forget what's important to me and to God.
I am asking God to show me exactly what needs to be left behind and help me realize what needs to be added back into my life. I want Him to order my steps, pack my bags with what I need, and send me on my journey into the next chapter of my life.

Silence

There are times in life where there are no words...none appropriate, none comforting, none healing...just silence. Nothing being said, nothing being heard. Falling into the abyss of nothingness. Like one of those dreams where you are screaming at the top of your lungs, but no sound is coming out. I am not known as a person of few words. I rarely am at a loss of words, and even when I am...I usually rattle off a nervous potpourri of chiches, euphonisms and mindless chatter.
Not now...now there are just sighs. Groans that only the Spirit understands...and interprets into prayers being lifted to the Father. The former 'open book' is at a blank page between chapters. The past no longer matters, the future is unknown.
A song writer once said "make friends with silence". I wouldn't say that it's a friend, but it is becoming a companion. I look forward to the gentle whisper that Elijah heard after the wind, fire and earthquake. But right now, I wait upon the Lord.
"But the Lord is in his holy temple, let all the earth be silent before him."
Hab. 2:20